My Night At The Movies.

In a former life I used to blog movie reviews in my spare time. It was a grand old time! In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I figured I’d give it another shot – right here, right now!

So, last night I went on a “movie date” to see Brian Bertino’s The Strangers.

SPOILER ALERT – it was 88 minutes long.

So, this is that movie that was based on actual events where this couple goes into the woods….killers….knives….blah blah blah.

Listen – I don’t get out to the movies much and we went to one of those giant stadium seating theaters and – wouldn’t you know – we got stuck right in front of Statler and Waldorf, as played by three 16-year old sass girls.

“Bitch, why you going in there! What a fuckin’ bitch!” and “This movie makes no sense cause she’s stupid” and….

Young Lady 1: Bravo, bravo!
Young Lady 2: Why are you yelling bravo? Did you like it that much?
Young Lady 1: Nope; friend of mine, Joe Bravo, he’s sitting in the front row. Bravo!

I’m all for talking movies – when I’m not there. Just, please, if you see me walk into a theater just hush up, hoes.

Another “hot topic” issue which showed up on The Strangers imdb message board was – “A note to Parents: STOP bring (sic) your kids to R rated horror films!”

Let’s assume they meant “STOP bringing…” and not “STOP: bring your kids to R rated horror films!” Like it’s a command or something.

Now I saw this film in Queens – as opposed to one of those fancy Midtown theaters where children are all the rage. I don’t think there were young kids in the theater. But, if there were they were brave little shits.

(note: not only would I suggest you note see this film in a Midtown Manhattan theater, I also suggest you not see this in an indie theater in Brooklyn. Due to it’s soundtrack, you will be ankle deep in jism if watched somewhere off the L train)

The person who initially posted this thread on the message board offers up this bit of knowledge:

There was a woman next to me who brought her kid into the movie, he seemed 6 or 7. The kid was cowering and shaking. NO S***!! Listen, parents. Don’t bring your kids to see a movie about a brutal murder and torture of two innocent people, ok? Not only does it help the kid sleep for the next few weeks, but it also makes it so we, the viewers, don’t have to hear a mother trying to keep he crying child quiet for the whole movie

User lovemebetweenthesheets21 (!!!) agrees:

i agree….same goes for immature groups of teens who laugh during serious moments in movies….i remember watching saw 4 and hearing a baby cry during the whole thing, it was awful

Horror movies are not meant to be laughed at, people! Geesh. A baby crying during during Saw IV (that’s the proper way to write it, btw) is unheard of. I am now outraged. No one should laugh, cry, enjoy themselves….

Serious moments of a movie?????
The movie is “The Strangers” not Citizen Kane. It is meant to be an over the top “tongue in cheek” movie. You are giving it too much credit.
I think horror movies are extremely funny. Maybe because I grew up in the Bronx where there is real stuff to be scared of.

Oh. Check – user mnsullo.

Uh-Oh! The hillbillies are none to happy with this city boy. Git this sum-um-a-bitch NathanGregg!

You think two individuals being brutally killed is funny? you are a *beep* sado-masochistic douchebag!

but being from the bronx you’re hard…eh?

seriously? wake up with a grizzly breathing down your face and then you can message self righteous *beep*

Beep! Look at those mother *beepers*! Where’d they get those peepers?

So what kind of person brings their 3-year old to see an R-rated horror film? ddhix_2002! And why does he bring his kid to R-rated films? So he won’t get AIDS!

If you restrict everything about your kids, and shelter them from every little thing (especially the reality of violence), even at an extremely young age, then get ready for your upcoming drug addict at 12 (or your HIV Positive daughter at 11).

And with that, I give this movie two thumbs up!!*

Enjoy the show.

.el sway

*note- the scale is out of 5 thumbs.


One response to “My Night At The Movies.

  1. Pingback: theater seats

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