So, I write this weekly baseball column for this web-site that I may or may not link here. You guys probably don’t care anyways!
But, my editor asked that my writing partner and I write about four teams who are off to surprising starts this year – St. Louis Cardinals, Oakland Athletics, Tampa Bay Rays, and Florida Marlins.
So, I tried, my hardest, to link each team to each Van Halen front man throughout the years. I suppose if you don’t care for either Van Halen or baseball then you should probably see below where I posted a monkey who works at a bar.
David Lee Roth – The St. Louis Cardinals have to be the David Lee Roth’s of this foursome. They’ve been around the longest (1882) and if you don’t think there is an Ozzie Smith back-flip montage to the song “Jump” just waiting to be put up on YouTube then you’re not thinking. It’s that simple.
Sammy Hagar – Here we have the Oakland Athletics. If only because we all most of us like Sammy Hagar’s Van Halen stuff, yet we long for the good old David Lee Roth days. Much like “Moneyball!” It’s a nice way to win 90 games each year, but – as we saw in 2006 when the A’s got swept by the Tigers in the ALCS and the Cardinals went on to win the World Series – give me Albert Pujols and a hot pitching staff and you can have your Moneyball, or shall I say your “Why Can’t This Be Love?” Plus – couldn’t you just see the Giambi Brothers and Mark McGwire sitting around in the clubhouse belting “I Can’t Drive 55?”
Mitch Malloy – The Florida Marlins, then, are the Mitch Malloy’s. I can see it now – Florida makes a nice run for the Wild Card only to be passed by the Cardinals in late August. Hey, just like when Van Halen asked Mitch Malloy to join them as the front man in 1996 only to have David Lee Roth trump him months later – shocker! – as they reunited at the MTV Music Awards!
Gary Cherone – This leaves us with the Tampa Bay Rays as the Gary Cherone of the group. See, no one really cared for the Cherone years – though he was with the group for 3 years! Same thing goes for the Rays. The attendance figures in Tampa Bay have lagged over the past several years even though they’ve had a young spirited team with a bright future. The Gary Cherone era? Take this quote from Van Halen’s Wikipedia page – “Touring with Cherone, regardless of his charisma, had proven disappointing in terms of attendance.” Weird, right?
It’s baseball, baby!