I was trying to find a job this morning where no one talks to you, at all, until well after noon. Functioning in the morning for me is difficult. I’m not that guy who rides his bike at 6:30am. I’m the guy who likes the idea of riding his bike at 6:30am. An ideas guy!
Then I came across, somehow, a list. An Oprah list! She came up with 10 Rules to live by. For example:
Seeing your partner through the lens of love rather than fear.
Naturally, this lead me to this…
Now, high school dudes beating up high school chicks is not funny. But, man, that was great!
“It was an accident, babe, I didn’t mean to…”
Here is the break-up scene…
“….or Chinese finger torture me like in Tuscon? ”
“Or throw me in a swimming pool filled with failed Geography quizzes like in Arlington?”
“Or file my fingernails down and use them as currency so you can buy matches at a gas station then bring me home and draw the curtains, halfway, while you stand outside and shoot matches at my naked body through the half-drawn curtains with the match gun that you made out of pumpkin seeds you gathered from your mother’s pumpkin farm that she bought with my bone marrow that you took from me while i slept in a bathtub filled with ice after you removed my liver in a motel in Salinas, UT?”
In Ray’s defense…
And what would a Donna Martin post be without this…
Look how awkwardly and, well, easily that fire broke out. It went from three smug teenagers making a “statement” to a bunch of smug teenagers making a terrible mistake. Yeah, summer school in California sounds tempting and all, but since she got “caught” drinking and I didn’t….
Just another web i’ve weaved.