In Which We Rehash Troubled Times.

So, a while back I wrote about this dude who “robbed” me with the old, “you broke my glasses scam.” Well, If I’m not not teh son of an Italian immigrant, that same guy sized me up and bumped into me and AGAIN claimed I broke his glasses. What transpired?

(as told to dear friend Jake Goldman, because I don’t want to type it again. I also added in what I assumed Jake to be doing during this conversation)

Me: this morning, the same guy who scammed me for $125 bumped into me and told me i BROKE HIS GLASSES!!! AGAIN!

Jake: (agasht!) No!
Me: i told him, “no fucking way, bro! you already got me!”
Jake: (stroking penis) nice. what’d he say after that
Me: so i went and found two cops and brought him over to talk to the guy. I don’t know if they did anything to him, or if they could, but i was fed up. Walked those fuckin cops right over there (tough guy!).
Jake: (creating ‘Proud of My Boy” plaque) That’s awesome, man. Good for you.
Me: in my head i was like, “really bro? really?”
Jake: (reenacting moments from his sporty youth) Seriously!
Me: i saw him and i took out my phone to get a picture of him and he was looking at me, so i got a picture of his back. Then, as i was about to pass him i put the phone to my ear like i was talking on it so i could get a pic of his face. When i passed and wouldn’t you know, the dude bumped me and was like, “you broke my fucking glasses!”
Jake: (slicking his hair) Oh, slick. I would have never thought of that. I cant believe that shit. He must be hitting up a ton of people for this shit.
Me: Yeah. And in the same spot. Total balls.
Jake: (smiling) I am satisfied with this conversation.
Anyways, here is the infamous picture. Note, it’s the dude with the “butterfly” looking hoodie. Not the girl with the butterfly ass cheeks.
Sure, nothing will happen to this guy and most likely he’ll bump into me again and try and make me pay for his “broken glasses.” But, I might as well make a shirt out of it, right?
Adam Wade makes a great point about all the “dog doody” on the streets of Hoboken. I love this video!
Well, Adam, we have a lot of shit on the streets here, too. See above for a prime example of one of the many pieces of crap on the streets just this morning.
.el sway

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