The #1 Sign of A Bad Neighborhood

Every week, I allot myself three minutes of reading time related to the trials and tribulations of Hollywood actresses. I do this by googling “Hollywood actresses”, and then reading the first three news items that are listed, for one minute apiece.

This ritual has become a very gratifying part of my obsessive-compulsive lifestyle, and one I look forward to every week (Wednesday mornings at 11:25 a.m., to be exact). Furthermore, I have come to believe that three minutes is exactly the right amount of time necessary for this exercise. If I gave myself any less than that, I would become disconnected from our culture at large. Any more than that, and I would become gay. More gay.

 Anyways, one of my recent “Hollywood Actresses” information sessions yielded the following tidbit, one that I would like to share with lolabrigada.com’s teeming readership of NYC tastemakers. It involves Ms. Chloe Sevigny, who is a Hollywood actress. Or was.

In an interview with Black Book Magazine (or as I like to call it, “the gay bible”) Ms. Sevigny was asked “New York or Hollywood?” And boy oh boy, did Ms. Sevigny have one heck of a great answer as to why she preferred the Big Apple:

“I lived in Los Angeles for a while, West Hollywood, and it was just miserable,” she said.

Why was it miserable? Well, you’ll have to just go ahead and hit the “more” button. I can’t give away stuff this awesome without requiring you to work for it! That would be un-American.

Okay, where we last left off, Ms. Sevigny had said:

“I lived in Los Angeles for a while, West Hollywood, and it was just miserable.”

Why was it miserable?

“I had these loud, obnoxious lesbian neighbors, who were always playing Trivial Pursuit, yelling answers to each other out the window, screaming.”

Whoa! If there is a scourge of urban existence that is greater than trivia-obsessed women who prefer the company of their own sex, than I’d sure like to know about it.

I’ll have to consult with Tom, our resident Wire sycophant expert, but didn’t the plight of trivia-obsessed lesbians account for one of the show’s main story arcs? Like, how they have been purposefully neglected by a post-industrial society that simply does not need them anymore? Wasn’t a large part of Omar’s mystique related to how he would break into lesbians’ homes and turn the power off in the middle of Jeopardy?

Well, Chloe Sevigny’s life ain’t no TV show. She’s seen that shit first-hand. That makes me want to run to the video store and rent Julien Donkey-Boy, stat! Chloe is a (former) Hollywood actress who is the real deal, and I’d like to give a big shout out to Google (and by extension, the internet), Black Book magazine, and my own literacy for teaming up in order to provide me with this valuable bit of information.

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One response to “The #1 Sign of A Bad Neighborhood

  1. You?

    Obsessive compulsive?

    Never.

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