Close, Personal Friends of Don Rickles

Don Rickles may just very well be the most famous comedian alive. The well known “King of Insult Comedy” is in the sixth decade of his illustrious stand-up career, and is still going strong at age 81. Throughout the years, Rickles has palled around with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Johnny Carson, and Bob Newhart, but his social circle extends far beyond dead and dying comedy legends.

You see, Don Rickles, like most octogenarians, has a MySpace page. The popular social networking site helps him keep in contact with his 10, 156 online friends, all of whom are presumably near and dear to his heart. But who are Mr. Rickles’ very best friends? Let’s take a look at his “Top 6”.

Tom: Where would any of us be without Tom, the “founder” of MySpace? Mr. Rickles is undoubtedly very appreciative of Tom’s effort toward building a better cyber-world, and has bestowed him with the top spot. Tom, meanwhile, seems to be more concerned with “phishing” and “alternate community building” than anything related to comedy.

Bubba Muski: A Chicago-based stand-up comedian, Muski’s tagline is “Taking Back Comedy…One Audience At A Time!” Who he intends to take it back from his unclear, but Rickles undoubtedly supports him in this goal. Under “influences”, Muski lists 19 comedians that have inspired him. Rickles, inexplicably, is not listed. How rude!

Ducky: Proving once again that Rickles has a deep appreciation of the twenty-something impresarios who originally founded MySpace, he has given his number #3 friend spot to Ducky. This California-based individual was responsible for the technology and programming of the initial MySpace site.

Mikey Angels: Man, what does Rickles see in this guy? Mikey Angels is some sort of graphics designer, with a maddeningly obtuse MySpace page. Mr. Angels includes some 40-odd artists under his list of “heroes”. Don Rickles is not included.What a goddamned insult!

iPhil V. 2.0: Who the hell is this guy? Some sort of fashion photographer? Man, Rickles really must be going soft in his old age. Anyways, iPhil V. 2.0 list his orientation as “straight”, but his occupation as “Making the glamorous, glamorous…” Something really does not add up here.

Kochis (Kooch): A 22-year-old who is really into powersports. Hanging out with this guy sounds like the definition of hell: “If you are in my car chances are your (sic) are going to hear some intense female vocal trance, some good ol’ boy country music, or 80s, 80s, 80s, lol!” Not surprisingly, Kochis (Kooch) did not see fit to include a mention of Rickles anywhere on his profile.

In conclusion, Don Rickles needs to screen his online acquaintances much more carefully. His Top 6 friends are nothing more than an accumulation of smarmy west coast tech nerds and sub-literate dilettantes. Here’s hoping that he realizes the errors of his ways, and soon!

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5 responses to “Close, Personal Friends of Don Rickles

  1. Yes I admit, it was insulting of me to Don Rickles directly for not placing him in my virtual hierarchy. If you want to talk insulting let’s see you how explain away what’s so “maddingly obtuse” about a simple flash layout which loads and navigates 100 times faster and more attractively than your resource greedy, youtube/Top 40 shitfest of a myspace? I mean, since you’re presiding and all. We can just get down to the nitty gritty here. I didn’t add Don Rickles. He (ergo his fake account maker) added me and all those people, and I’m probably in his top friends because he hasn’t customized it because unlike you, he doesn’t give a crap about the relevance of his myspace friends because he probably has other less arbitrary things going on his life. Therefore, his friends are ordered automatically for him, by low “friend ID” number (as all of the people you mentioned kinda rendering your entire skit mute and ill-researched). Truth is, ‘Don’ is what’s know as as ‘a friend whore’. Lenny Bruce ain’t no friend whore. We (the people you thought would never read this) are but the select few who didn’t say no to your idolized friend whore. And me? I accepted because jackasses like yourself visit his page and then post funny little blogs with my name in them boosting my SEO presence and double my client returns. But hey, don’t mean no disrespect…just don’t offer your backseat driving opinions on graphic design and I won’t chance an opinion on why Lee Evans type pantomine comedy is a feasible proposition post 1988. Cheers, now.

    Pentangeli.

  2. Mikey —

    I really mean it when I say thanks for the response. I’m always complaining to people that there’s no accountability on the internet…it seems like everything goes into a vacuum. It’s way more fun to be challenged and have to back up your opinons.

    Now, my Don Rickles post has to be taken for what it was — a quickly-written stopgap on a blog that helps us stay active between shows. It was written in about half an hour, and it’s not really worth defending. That said, you missed the point (perhaps I was being maddeningly obtuse). My motivation for writing it was to highlight the absurdity of the fact that Don Rickles has a MySpace page, and that it is quite obvious he doesn’t have a thing to do with it. And, really, why would he? The whole thing was just ludicrous to me. I could give a fuck about MySpace (which accounts for our shitty layout), and I could give a fuck about Don Rickles. The “joke” (if there was one) was that Don Rickles obviously doesn’t give a fuck about MySpace either. To me, there was something inherently amusing about an 81-year-old icon hanging out with the 6 people listed as his top friends. The whole thing was a riff on the meaningless of it all.

    I mean, did it really seem like I care about any of this? Did I seem truly offended that my “idol” Don Rickles was engaged in non-reciprocal electronic friendships? I’m surprised you took it so seriously.

    Anyways, thanks again for the response. Much better than the usual sycophantic “You guys are funny!” feedback from our little circle of NYC cronies. As for Lee Evans, I’m not familiar with him at all. I’ll have to check him out, and then meditate real hard on the feasibility of our two-decades-too-late comedic endeavor.

    Cheers, now.

    Ben

  3. Pingback: Benny & Joon (Mikey). « lolabrigada

  4. Pingback: populararticle » Blog Archive » don rickles

  5. Hello there,

    I am indeed taking comedy back one audience at a time! I’m taking comedy away from uninteresting hack comedians and returning intelligent comedy to the masses where it belongs. I’ve yet to meet Don in person, something I plan to change in the near future. I have heard through the grapevine that Don read a bit of my work and enjoyed it. (I’m both honored and flattered) I’ve always had great respect for his work and for him as a person. I’ve always mentioned Don as one of my biggest influences. At the time you read my myspace… Don’s name could be found under the section called: “Heroes!” So, his name was on my profile and I wasn’t being rude in the least!

    Have a wonderful day,
    – Bubs.

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