Don Rickles may just very well be the most famous comedian alive. The well known “King of Insult Comedy” is in the sixth decade of his illustrious stand-up career, and is still going strong at age 81. Throughout the years, Rickles has palled around with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Johnny Carson, and Bob Newhart, but his social circle extends far beyond dead and dying comedy legends.
You see, Don Rickles, like most octogenarians, has a MySpace page. The popular social networking site helps him keep in contact with his 10, 156 online friends, all of whom are presumably near and dear to his heart. But who are Mr. Rickles’ very best friends? Let’s take a look at his “Top 6”.
Tom: Where would any of us be without Tom, the “founder” of MySpace? Mr. Rickles is undoubtedly very appreciative of Tom’s effort toward building a better cyber-world, and has bestowed him with the top spot. Tom, meanwhile, seems to be more concerned with “phishing” and “alternate community building” than anything related to comedy.
Bubba Muski: A Chicago-based stand-up comedian, Muski’s tagline is “Taking Back Comedy…One Audience At A Time!” Who he intends to take it back from his unclear, but Rickles undoubtedly supports him in this goal. Under “influences”, Muski lists 19 comedians that have inspired him. Rickles, inexplicably, is not listed. How rude!
Ducky: Proving once again that Rickles has a deep appreciation of the twenty-something impresarios who originally founded MySpace, he has given his number #3 friend spot to Ducky. This California-based individual was responsible for the technology and programming of the initial MySpace site.
Mikey Angels: Man, what does Rickles see in this guy? Mikey Angels is some sort of graphics designer, with a maddeningly obtuse MySpace page. Mr. Angels includes some 40-odd artists under his list of “heroes”. Don Rickles is not included.What a goddamned insult!
iPhil V. 2.0: Who the hell is this guy? Some sort of fashion photographer? Man, Rickles really must be going soft in his old age. Anyways, iPhil V. 2.0 list his orientation as “straight”, but his occupation as “Making the glamorous, glamorous…” Something really does not add up here.
Kochis (Kooch): A 22-year-old who is really into powersports. Hanging out with this guy sounds like the definition of hell: “If you are in my car chances are your (sic) are going to hear some intense female vocal trance, some good ol’ boy country music, or 80s, 80s, 80s, lol!” Not surprisingly, Kochis (Kooch) did not see fit to include a mention of Rickles anywhere on his profile.
In conclusion, Don Rickles needs to screen his online acquaintances much more carefully. His Top 6 friends are nothing more than an accumulation of smarmy west coast tech nerds and sub-literate dilettantes. Here’s hoping that he realizes the errors of his ways, and soon!