Snow Days.

Someone once told me that snow is just “God pouring salt on us all as he’s getting ready to eat us!” I guess we’ll find out. Today, in New York City, it is snowing. Heavily. I think this might be our first real snow of 2008. What ever should you do? Well, I know what I’m doing: working. You should probably do the same. But, let’s pretend, for a moment, that we can all spend this glorious snow day together, a la Connor Matheus‘ finest hour, and bask in this glorious snow. What should we do? Well, here are a few suggestions:

Read. Listen, if you don’t start now you’ll never catch up. Tom Clancy keeps poppin’ em out. There is no better time than during a snow storm to gather round and read “Without Remorse.” Spoiler Alert!

4.0 out of 5 stars Gritty characterization! Tom challenges the reader’s expectations, October 9, 2007
By Lauren

Lauren, I expect this novel to be about a former Navy Seal, named John Clark, who avenges newly found loved one’s death against drug dealers. He takes the law into his own hands and , I quote, “becomes a soldier once more.” You still stickin’ to your guns, Lauren?

Clean out your closet. If you’re like me, then you should probably start cleaning now. Get all those “props” from off the floor. File away that paperwork you stashed in your closet to “make room” for your dvd collection. Clean up that old bowling ball you left on the top shelf of your closet for comedic effect. Clean up your act…

man-in-closet.jpg

Watch a Movie. Might I suggest “Little Children,” with Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson. The dude who played Kelly Leak in the original Bad News Bears cuts his dick off. So, fast forward to the end and act surprised!

Play. Yeah, I said it. We’re all adults here, but what’s a little snowball fight amongst friends. And play hard, bitches. Play like that one time you broke John Digenova’s collarbone trying to steal his sled. Also fun to play: sex. Snowman sex.

snowmanhooker.jpg

Neat!

Enjoy the snow, please. And be safe. We need you at our next show. Whenever that may be.

.el sway

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