Tom is on vacation this week. Therefore, it stands to reason that I, Ben, should be on vacation too. Therefore, instead of writing new content, I present the following true-life tale from the Lolabrigada MySpace archives. This hilarious tale was submitted to us by a “friend” who shall go unnamed for the sake of his dignity:
While looking at my bank statement this month, I noticed that a mysterious entity named ‘paycom.net’ charged me $26.91. Not knowing who paycom.net was, I called the number listed on the bank statement.
A customer service representative quickly answered, and informed me that the $26.91 charge was for my monthly membership on the esteemed porn site milfhunter.com.Now, I love milfs, and I love milfhunter.com. No argument there. But I never joined the site. I knew that for a fact. The paycom.net representative agreed to refund my $26.91, which was good, but I nonetheless hung up the phone feeling suspicious.
I dug up some old bank statements, and sure enough I had been charged $26.91 every month since October. This was bullshit! Yes, I’m an idiot for having not noticed the charge before, but I felt ripped off and taken advantage of.
I called paycom.net once again, and got through to a different customer service representative. I said that the charges to my debit card were bullshit, and that I was getting ripped off.
The representative agreed to refund the previous three months worth of $26.91 charges, but also “guaranteed” me that I or someone with my personal information had joined Milf Hunter.
I remained incredulous, so he explained further.
“Well, sir. It looks like what happened is that back in October you got a three-day trial membership on assparade.com”.
No argument there! The wife had been gone that weekend, so I had decided to indulge my love of asses. Finally we were getting somewhere. But, still, I knew I’d been ripped off. What did Ass Parade have to do with Milf Hunter? Mr. Customer Service continued:
“What happened is that when you joined Ass Parade, there were a series of pre-checked boxes offering trial membership on other sites. Milfhunter was one of them. So even though you cancelled the Ass Parade membership, Milfhunter remained active.”
So there it was! What a bunch of sneaky assholes these porno guys are. What I intended as a $5 sneak peak at beautiful rear ends turned into an nine month, nearly $200 membership on a site I never visited! What a rip-off!
But there are two lessons to be learned here:
1: Don’t trust the porn industry.
2. Always check your bank statements.
Otherwise, this could happen to you.
Thanks for reading —