Pay at the Pump.

If you’ve ever seen comedian Steve Maracrelli’s stand-up bit about how he had to point out a lonely male patron at a local McDonald’s, convincing the  fry guy that the strapping gentleman he was referring to was his non-hetero boyfriend just so he can take a #2 without having to order a #1, then you’ll understand why this news comes as a relief.

The Big Apple will look more like Tinkletown today as the city’s first pay-per-potty opens for business in Manhattan.

Now, if you live in NYC then you certainly have ah, “Oh my God, one time I totally” story about trying to get your 1’s and 2’s on.  You also have a, woops, I peed on the seat story.  More good news!  These turlets clean themselves 60 seconds after each use!  Wha!?  “Wow!  Can I have one?”  The short answer:  No.


For only a quarter you get 15 uninterrupted minutes of sit-down time.  I wish I could get one of those in my apartment for when my girlfriend is PMSing!  Ha!  Shotzah!

N o, I really don’t.  The plumbing must be a bitch.  And the zoning?  No thanks.  As for the public at large, I do feel like this may turn out to be one giant step for those of us who hate tiptoeing around traveling pee streams that run off of buildings at all hours of the day.  For just 25cents, we can nip this problem at the tip!


.el sway


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