What Could Have Been…

If one goes to sirmixalot.com, it will not take you to the “official” website of the renowned rapper (who, of course, will always be best known for his 1991 masterpiece “Baby Got Back”). No, sir. Sirmixalot.com is “the unofficial fan site”. Sadly, however, the owner of this prime piece of internet real estate has not capitalized on it.

Not at all.

The site’s webmaster managed to post nine times in the “Latest News” section of the site before giving up. The first was on March 20, 2004. The last came on September 30 of the same year. This is bad enough, but it gets worse. Eight of the nine posts are related to technical bullshit regarding the website, most of them regarding the webmaster’s quixotic dream of offering sirmixalot.com email addresses.

In fact, only one post had anything at all to do with Sir Mix-A-Lot:

6/24/04: If you’ve ever seen the movie Shrek and seen the characters sing a final song before the credits, be sure to watch a bit longer. The characters from the movie Shrek sing portions of various songs. One of them, Donkey, sings part of Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”. Check it out, you’ll love it!

Well, I did check it out, and guess what? I didn’t love it at all. My memory of one of the world’s greatest rap songs is now tainted with the image of a flatulent donkey.

To the anonymous jerk behind sirmixalot.com: You have failed me, and you have failed all who are like me. Those “in the know” are aware of the fact that Sir-Mix-A-Lot is fucking awesome. He’s a lot more than just the ass-obsessed fat dude with glasses who is still lingering around on the fringes of the popular imagination. For proof of Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s greatness, read this interview he conducted with the Onion A/V club in 2003.

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