MegaMillions.

My half-assed post about my peepee this morning was due to the fact that I am overjoyed with tonight’s “Main Event”: The NBA Draft Lotto!

For those of you who like a good conspiracy..

The Knicks got Ewing!!! And they won 100 Zero championships with him. Hmmm? Maybe this was an anti-Knicks conspiracy theory.

Here’s one for you: DAVID STERN RIGGED THE 1985 NBA DRAFT, THUS, KEEPING LEN BIAS OUT OF CLEVELAND AND POSSIBLY… SENDING LEBRON JAMES TO NYC!!

Follow me here..

Ok, so David Stern made sure in 1985 that the Knicks got the first pick in the NBA Draft – 7-foot phenom Patrick Ewing.

Had Stern NOT rigged the Draft, the Knicks could have ended up with one of the following 6 players – Wayman Tisdale, Benoit Benjamin, Xavier McDaniel, John Koncak, Joe Kleine, or Chris Mullin.

Had Commissioner Stern not implemented the Draft Lottery in 1985 in order for the Knicks to “have a chance” to draft a Franchise Player in Ewing, the Knicks would have selected 3rd – possibly Wayman Tisdale or Benoit Benjamin or hometown hero Chris Mullin.

Now, the Knicks followed up the 84-85 season by finishing 195-86 with the worst record in the NBA. Still no lottery – the Knicks would have had the 1st pick in the Draft. They most likely would have drafted Brad Daughtery (w/o Ewing, of course). The Indiana Pacers had the seconds worst record and would have picked 2nd, sans lotterty, though could have possibly finished 1st in the draft in ‘85 (coin toss with the Warriors), selected Ewing and finished better than the Cavs – who had the 3rd worst record.

Stay with me boss.

So, with the Cavs looking for a SF to play alongside World B. Free, Roy Hinson and Mel Turpin. Insert Lenny Bias.

Now, the Cavs would have loved to have LeBron James before Lebron James was actually born!  We always talk about legacy and all the speculation of Kobe wanting to go to Chicago to have his jersey number retired beside the all-time great, Michael Jordan.  It’s clear that one man can make a franchise.  Len Bias died on draft night, of course, but would it have meant more for the Cavs to have the “story” of Len Bias or for the Celtics to have shuffled him into a line of all-time greats?

I tend to think that the “idea” of Len Bias would have meant more to Cleveland than it already does to the Celtics.  Could LeBron could have been swayed to stay in as a memorial to the star that could have been?  Well, it might have been easier to convice LeBron to carry the torch, then ask him to light it.

Welcome to NYC, Mr. James!

.el sway

Underwear Exchange.

Hi!

I’m back.  Thanks, Ben, for picking up yesterday’s slack.  That post looked fun.  Of course I’ve yet to read it, since there is no “sway” stamp on it, but I’ll get around to it eventually.

Anyways, I’m back.

Where was I yesterday?

Crazy Town!

No, I’m kidding.  I had a commercial AUDITION!

No, really, I was.

I’ll spare the major details, but my “agent,” Matty sent me on an audition – which I never do! – for a commercial.  He usually sends me writing gigs or other gigs involving Stephen A. Smith.  Anyways, I’m going to spare the gruesome details and give you this much….

I had to strip down to my underwear and pretend like this chair, below, was a water slide.

For like a few minutes while I pretend like I am having the best time of my life.  Yeah, the young indie rock chick who had me strip down was an old hat at this.  I felt comforted knowing that the lighting was projecting perfectly off my chest hair and that the tears trickling down my face as I “Weeeeee’d” around in the chair were NOT tears at all.  They were the comedy Lords pissing on me as I circled in my underwear yelling “This is great!!”

It was a fine day indeed.  And sure, I’ll keep you posted.  But, for now, I’m just going to get drown in the piss of the comedy Lord…

.el sway