Edgar Allan Show Tonight!

LAST SHOW OF THE RUN TONIGHT! YOU MUST GO, YOUR LIFE MAY JUST DEPEND ON IT. 11PM at the PIT. 154 west 29th St. between 6th and 7th Ave. 

It’s the Tim show, yeah, this Tim…

But it’s also featuring this Jenn…

This Ben…

And this Tom…

We’ll be waiting for you…

LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!

Love, Kermit D Blog

 

So Tomorrow That You Will See.

Lolabrigada is performing the last of their 4-week show – The Next Level.  You should probably come since, well, you’ll find out later.

There’s a secret.

Plus, this is Tim’s show!  Yeah, this Tim!

Details?

LOLABRIGADA IS TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

SATURDAY, MAY 31ST AT 11PM- THE ONLY SHOW YOU NEED TO SEE, EVER.

THE PIT- 154 WEST 29TH ST. BTWN 6TH AND 7TH AVE.

w/ Walker and Cantrell and Michael Solis.

for tix and info go to:

www.thepit-nyc.com

www.lolabrigada.com

www.walkerandcantrell.com

www.michaelsolisdoesnothaveawebsiteyet.com

Enough!

Boy Meets Mom’s Face.

Check this kid out. Make sure you get to at least the 2-minute mark.

While I was watching this video I was thinking – “this kid is for real! I love him!”

Then he started crying and I thought – “puss!”

Then he slapped his mom in the face and won me over again! And when he said that he did it to get her attention; I lost it! “How does that make you feel!” He’s so cute that I’m dying just a little inside.

All those ranges of emotion. I think I need to give my mom a hug…

.el sway

Encino Tribe.

Great job yesterday Jonny.  I only hope that your cubicle mates – Jake and Steve – can reach the level of professionalism you displayed on your first day with a monkey pissing in it’s own mouth.  Well done!

Hey have you guys seen this?

RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) – Amazon Indians from one of the world’s last uncontacted tribes have been photographed from the air, with striking images released on Thursday showing them painted bright red and brandishing bows and arrows.

No joke!

Pussies.  Look at them trying to throw spears at a helicopter.  Sooo typical.

These dudes live in little huts in the forest bordering Brazil and Peru.  They are one of nearly 100 uncontacted tribes.   They paint themselves Orange after their ancestral tribe Oompus Loompus.

Too easy?  See I was trying to do that joke where you insert facts and then follow that up with….trailing off now.

What I think is great about these Orange Spear Throwers is that they totally have no idea they are on the Internet right now.  NO idea!  “What’s that?”  They’d ask.  Or, in their native tongue – “qué es eso?”  I assume they speak Spanish?  No?

We should totally send Paulie Shore over to this tribe to get them accustomed to the “outside world.”  A la Encino Man.

That’s a TV buuuuddyyyyyy.  Those are boobs, buuuuddddyyy – Oh?  You knew that?

Maybe it’s better if we just leave them alone.

.el sway

The Tim Show

Hello Blog Readers, Tim here, wow that was weird. This is my first time writing one of these things. I mean, I’ve posted a picture before, but I am so used to my non-verbal comfort level that all of these words are making me nauseous. It is my show THIS SATURDAY, MAY 31st at 11pm at the PIT and I am so excited that I am Taking It To The Next Level by writing real words, as opposed to my usual telegraphic speech.  Anyway, back to the show.  I have hand picked the music, the scenes, the unbelievably brilliant giveways, and the most perfect guests.

We have 2 Phenomenal Guests for the show!

The Hilarious Michael Solis…

Er. Michael Solis?

No, no, Michael Solis. Here he is…

No, really, Michael Solis…

 

 

 

 

There he is.

And our other awesome guest, the always hysterical Jess Cantrell…

Wait, wrong Cantrell. That is R&B Sensation Blu Cantrell. Below is Bluegrass Sensation Jes Cantrell (she drops one ’s’ when she sings)

No, no. So wrong, but feels so right. Would the real Jess Cantrell please stand up?

Yes! She just realized she said yes to our show.

These ridiculously talented performers will be hosted by Lolabrigada…

And the whole show will be about me, Tim Girrbach…

Here we go again…

I don’t think so.

Really? How’s about…

On top of the world, but no. Here I am…

        

Meow. So come to the show and show your love.

 

 

 

 

 

Thursdays With Jonny.

As noted earlier we have hired new writers for the site! Today we present – Thursdays with Jonny. Each week Jonny will do his best to get arrested for you – the reader. Follow along!

Greetings, Lolabriblogger readers. Jonny C here. I am truly honored to be given the 4th best day day of the week to spew off my own non-PIT educated brand of total nonsense. Ladies and gentlemen, from here on out, I assure you that I will spend every waking moment merely looking like I’m participating in productive activities, when in fact I will solely be concentrating on ensuring your thursdays will soon become the 3rd best day of the week. Anyways here we go…….

I earn exactly 10 business days for vacation per work year. I try my best to make the most of these few days, but last week events unfolded in such a way that I spent an entire morning in the confines of my home, alone…. Alone….. Alone with the internet….. A 28 year old man alone with the internet…With no parental filters on my google search…. Understand yet?….At first this time alone can be exhilarating, but after the exhilaration leaves my body, certain thoughts creep in. I think its safe to say that it is not only I who have thoughts of personal inadequacy in length, girth, volume, stamina, frequency, number of daily partners, number of avn awards or number of wikipedia entries touting the virtues of the above. Not exhilarating at all!.

Feeling a bit blue, I started thinking of ways to cheer myself up over my own lack of length, girth, volume, stamina, frequency, number of daily partners , number of avn awards or number of wikipedia entries touting the virtues of the above. I have a little adaptive trick I’ve taught myself that whenever I feel sad, I compare my situation to a similar one in nature – this usually works wonders and I start to feel better instantly. For example, if I were someone who had the inclination to taste my own pee and somehow during this experimental procedure, I got caught, I’d feel instantly better knowing that its perfectly natural.

Using my adaptive thinking on my feelings of inadequacy, I became curious of the love lives of all my favorite animals. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure if this would make me feel better or worse. After a quick perusal of New York State, Federal and international laws, I went back to the internet and continued to take advantage of my lack of parental filter on google.

After nearly vomiting at elephant intercourse(eerily similar to the human video I watched previously, I refuse to post this), weeping hysterically that my parents were not both zebras (likewise, I refuse to post, knock yourselves out) I finally found the video that has made me giggle ever since!!

Giraffe Love!!!!!

Wow, look at him go. I feel much better! Although, always raining on my parade, my zoologist friend insisted that while giraffes are not the most versed at traditional love making, males are quite happy to take advantage of the excessive space available in their mate’s necks!

Till next Thursday……………..

Jonny

Caption Contest!

.el sway

Gas Wednesday.

Here is something I would like to share with you all. It’s a video from the very funny Matt Sears.

We’ve come a long way, baby.

.el sway

Blowin’ Up.

I love this story…

Father learns kids don’t inflate.

Phnom Penh – A Cambodian father and mechanic learned the hard way not to inflate children when he inserted an air hose designed to fill car tires into his 5-year-old son’s anus and blew him up, local media reported on Thursday.

Awk-ward.

How about a little role playing tonight, baby? I’ll be the 5 year olds anus!

.el sway

[via Deadspin]

311 Friendly.

My lady sent me this craigslist ad for an apartment in San Diego.

It’s a pretty sick deal.

420 friendly! I will rent out a large nice, large room by the day or week only! Prefer female! But, regardless, must be clean, considerate, and at least semi-empolyed! No flakes or tweakers need bother to inquire! Please call Billy at 760-434-4799 between 9:00am and 11:00pm , Thanks, peace, and 420/311

This guy sounds great.  I tried to picture what he looks like and this is the best I could come up with.

Then I read the most disappointing part of that masterpiece…

Please call Billy at 760-434-4799 between 9:00am and 11:00pm…

Oh Billy.  If you were truly a “stoner” then you would NOT be up by 9:00am and asleep by 11:00pm.  It’s just not possible!

Trust me, I know knew that to be true.

So who posted that?

SHECKLER!

Probs.  Seems like the kind of dude.

Hey, you think anyone is buying boards with this dudes name on it anymore.  Probs not.

.el sway