Hell Hath No Fury…

Word, y’all! Jenny here. I would like to address a snarky post written by Benjamin Hill last week. I believe it went something like this:

“Tim and Jenn were unable to assist in this matter [blogging], unfortunately. Tim refuses to write for this site unless we pay him, and Jenn…well, she’s a woman. ‘Nuff said, right?”

I believe it went “something like this” because I went back, re-read it, and then copy/pasted it.

I will completely disregard the passive aggressive “woman” comment and respond to this quote in a direct and adult fashion:

Ben, you are a turd. A big, stinky one. I have been unemployed these past 2 weeks, and busily looking for work. It’s like a job in itself, ok? Life has been hectic and stressful for me lately. Like today, while I was busy looking for work, I watched American Gangster. Do you have any idea how long that movie is, Ben? And that was after I re-touched my headshots and cleaned out my entire closet! I mean, I barely got a lunch break. I even took calls while I ate. Christy was really upset about her break up with Rob (don’t bother to ask how she’s doing, Ben! Like you care!!). Also, the wash doesn’t get done on it’s own. I was so behind, that I had to take my journal collage with me to the laundromat! I was so overwhelmed, it was like I was forced to get stoned and walk aimlessly around Astoria Park with my IPOD.

So, the next time you presume to know what I’m doing with my time, why don’t you call a sistah and find out first hand? It’s like we don’t even communicate anymore. I miss us, Ben. What happend? Don’t hide behind catty remarks on a public blog. Let’s dig deeper and say what this is really about, and I think we all know what that is: You’re jealous, but it’s like I told you, I’ve known Tim longer. So, just because he doesn’t you call you to talk shit about Tom, doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. He just doesn’t trust you yet. Give it time. I hope this has opened up the lines of communication, so that we can correspond with a little more honesty and integrity in the future.

Love always and forever and ever and ever and ever,

Jennifer R. Dodd D.D.S.

Weird Al Haikukovic, Vol. 2

I started this last night, and now, like all things that I have started in this life, I have to finish it. So here we go with part 2 of my now on-going series of Weird Al Yankovic haiku record reviews.

Today, we visit albums 4-6 in his still-flourishing career.

Polka Party (1986)

Four albums, four years/an unsustainable pace/side one is still great

Even Worse (1988)

Al needed a boost/and thankfully he got one/in form of fat suit

UHF Soundtrack (1989)

I’d like to point out/favorite original song/”Biggest Ball of Twine…”

Looks like the law of diminishing returns is setting in, even though I’m only half done with this ridiculous endeavor. In closing, I truly would like everyone to know that “Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota” is my favorite original Weird Al song of all time. The twine ball does exist, and I visited it in the summer of 2001 after graduating from college. “The Twine Ball Inn” referenced in the song is an actual business establishment, though it is a diner and not an actual inn. That was disappointing, because I would have spent the night there, for sure.